It's not always what it seems

Oh how I have wanted to blog, but something called an 8 hour workday combined with little nieces and unread books on my Kindle have gotten in the way of that.

So what brings me here tonight? A panic attack. Simple as that.

Everybody knows Facebook. It's that place where you brag about how awesome your life is, or if your life sucks, people pump you up to make you feel better.

But when you're like me, and you have nothing fantastic to brag about (well... I guess I do have some things) Facebook is where I go to see how much my life sucks.

Well... my life rocks.

But still, every now and then I'll spy the wild relationship status change. At first I'm all "Yay! Like! " and then five minutes later, it sets in. Real hard.

A reminder that I'm still single and I have one less single friend.

It feels like being part of a duo. You're inseparable! Everything is fun and you're able to share awesomeness with them and then you're alone screaming "I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER!!!"

That's how it feels.

And then comes the whole "What am I doing wrong? Why not me?" and then I sob myself to sleep.

A bit of an exaggeration.

But there's a little something I have in my mind that's keeping me a little more balanced. About 9 months ago, I was in the bathroom crying at a wedding reception. Why? Well, the happiness was overwhelming from the bride and the groom. I told myself I would just have fun and not be sad, but I just couldn't. He was too proud of himself and was in love with the idea of being in a relationship and getting married. She was known for being no good but magically turned into daughter-in-law material while they were dating. They were one of those couples on Facebook.

Just knowing how they were and that they managed to find love baffled me when I couldn't get a guy to look my way even if I was on fire.

Well, 9 months and a baby and signs of insincerity later, they're separating.

What does that tell me?

Stop being jealous!

So once this panic attack subsides, I'll be getting back on the happy train. And I totally need to. Got my friend's bridal shower to go to!

Bridesmaid?

Happy hump day!

A time comes in every girl's life... well, not every girl's, but quite a few... when your friend gets married. It's kinda difficult for me at times. We've been around each other a while. We've both endured the single life and lamented over the lack of prospects.

But now, she's found the one.

And there's a part of me that's sad and envious even though I'm very happy for her. This has been a long time coming for her. Now she's getting married in a bit over a month and for the first time in my adult life, I'm a bridesmaid. I've been one before, but never in the capacity I am now. I bought my dress and I'm participating in bridesmaids-y events on my own. I feel so grown up.

However, I'm just a bridesmaid. And she has a closer friend that's her maid of honor. I feel a twinge of jealousy. Well, of course they have a closer past. They've been through lots of things together and our friendship is more of a casual one.

But I'm just a bridesmaid. Just a participant in the ceremony that's left out of conversations during planning parties and not included in on group selfies.

And then when they day comes, chances are, I will be escaping to the bathroom to cry.

I'm really sad that I'm nothing but happy. This is my dear friend who I have seen going through a terrible breakup, being hung up over a guy and then finally after a long wait, has found someone to spend the rest of her life with.

But I want that too. To meet someone who is willing to take a risk on me. Yes, it's really selfish, but I do feel that way. I'm approaching 30 quickly and it's tough being that one single person when all your friends have been married for years. I've felt the growing apart. As they settle in to their couple life, the conversations become more difficult to endure because it's all "we" and plans for the future and the babies that eventually come along.

But, I started this blog to feel happier about my singleness, so I won't dwell on that too much. I am really looking forward to the wedding though. Seeing her in the dress makes me feel so giddy. Like it's really happening. And I'm a part of something beautiful.

That's enough to make me happy.

Finally my IKEA desk

I'd been eyeing the Micke desk from IKEA ever since my first visit a few months back. I was seriously kicking myself for not getting it then because it was all I could think of. I just wanted to return to get it.

And get it I did. My brother and I put the whole thing together over the course of two evenings.

I'm still trying to get everything back in order, but I am indeed welcoming the extra space.

Especially the drawers. Two drawers to organize all my junks. I couldn't be happier!!!

Enjoying my youth

I'm about to hit 30 now. It's not sad until I'm all looking at my friends and how they're doing stuff... Had two people I know have babies recently, my closest friend getting married... Saw my dear friend from elementary through high school get married recently. And don't get me started on how my Facebook looks... Oi, the envy.

I shouldn't feel that way. Compared to them, I can do whatever I want to without having to think about anybody else. And that I did.

Sunrise into Georgia

Everyone else was going away and I was gonna be home alone so I packed my overnight bag, hopped in my car, and set off for Atlanta early early early (like before 6:30am) in the morning with just an energy drink by my side.

This is something I would so do again. Totally. In a heartbeat. As long as gas prices are reasonable.

My main reason for going was to get a Micke desk from IKEA but I had to finally go to the Super H Mart in Riverdale since my brother has been suggesting me to go like forever. There I was introduced to the lovely cream cheese buns from Tous les Jours, a Korean French-style bakery. Gotta give them props for having goodies that are not too sweet.

Obligatory ramune purchase

Along with that, I got some ramune and Pocky as well as a pack of Choco Baby. I was just too drugged up on energy drink that I could barely do anything more than wander the aisle looking at things to try anything adventurous.

Then I got all the goodies from IKEA for my desk as well as a few other edibles.

Basically the weekend can be summed up as I bought a lot, I ate a lot. And it was awesome.

Went home the following afternoon. I kinda wish I stopped more, but I was just anxious to get home so I could call my first ever solo road trip in my new car a success... I need more weekends like that. I'm already planning to go back again to enjoy a few other things Atlanta has to offer. If I were more inclined, I would so move there.

Trying this blogging thing again

I'm back again!

Oh my life is so busy! Between work and various hobbies, sometimes I feel that I don't have time for anything. But today, I'm taking time to do blogging. It's been way too long. I keep taking pictures and never sharing and doing things but never really doing much more than tweeting about it. It's a tiring life, but I'm enjoying it.

And I think chopping one thing out of my life, that'll leave me with time to actually blog... Keep some record of the cool things in my life as I do them. Well, I like to think they're cool.

But one thing that I'm so annoyed with a lot of bloggers that I used to follow. They used to have cool blogs. They'd talk about their lives and then I'd be inspired, and I actually liked my life better back then. But then suddenly, the blogs just became heylookwhatijustbought.com instead of heylookhowcoolmylifeis.net. Quite a boring difference.

So I'm gonna inspire my own life!

And that's about it...!

How I had a chunk of my life taken away from me

Yes! I haven't posted in forever! There's only one reason. One reason only. You see, my dear guild leader, I guess he felt I was too lonely and nagged him too much, so he was like, "Why don't you play League of Legends? "


Seriously, I had now idea what this craziness he was talking about was. Well I did know a little. I knew of a few people who play LoL. And coincidentally, I discovered this Tumblr /web comic made by a girl dating a LoL player. And of course, everything in the comic went over my head. And he asks me to play a game when my computer can't really handle fancy games and stuff?
This was really an are-you-kidding-me moment, but I downloaded the game anyway. And in between the tears of being frustrated and getting yelled at and just plain sucking, I came to enjoy the game.

I still kinda suck. And I don't really have many people to play it with (the guy who got me playing leads a WoW guild with some of the other people I play with) plus the random teams I play with, they don't provide the level of social interaction I desire. I can't say I love the game, but I'm enjoying it.

Right now, my favorite champion is Miss Fortune. She's quite easy mode and I can stay alive and kill quite easily with her which is a surprise because I typically like playing support. I still do like playing support every now and then with Soraka but that is rare these days.

Well, it's back to normal life. It seems like I work more than anything T_T

I love my cellphone!

Another post from me. I'm enjoying my weekend still. Just trying to do all the things I want to do before the work week begins again. And strawberries. Lots and lots of strawberries.

A few months ago, I finally upgraded my old feature phone (an LG Dlite) to a smartphone! After much debating, I ended up choosing a Sony Xperia U. It's seriously so tough choosing a smartphone. Like seriously. All of them look alike and most are very masculine. But if you want one with any style, you have to pay out the wazoo for it.

That sucked for me considering at most I would just be texting and taking pictures with my phone. I almost didn't even upgrade because my current phone was (and is still) working perfectly and all the phones I saw had ridiculous prices even for just the most basic phones. But by chance I spotted the XU for just $219 and bought it immediately.

Did a little bit of customizing to it to suit my needs. I was inspired by the clock widget for the F-03 Girls (otherwise known as the Popteen collaboration phone). I just had to make my own with UCCW. I still want to tweak it a little, but as far as I'm concerned, it's perfect.

I've downloaded quite a few apps for it. Mostly apps for editing photos and quite a few camera replacement apps. I really really loathe a lot of the stock apps and I'm thankful there are replacements. Probably the most awesome app is one that does very little but makes all the difference in the world: Illumination Bar Notification. By default, the phone only has a very small, very dim LED for notifications that you can't even see in the dark while the light up bar below the soft keys sits there and does nothing. Like, it does nothing at all 99% of the time. But with that app, you can take control of it so that it's actually useful. Thanks to it, I never miss a text :3 Best of all, you don't need root access.

I could rattle off a massively long list of apps I adore, but that would be better for another post some other time. Maybe I'll do that one day.

Eating Alone

Things are so busy sometimes, but I'm always guaranteed a little downtime during my lunch break so why not blog!

On the topic of lunch, eating alone is what I often end up doing especially during the work week. everyone goes to lunch in shifts so I mostly have no one to go to lunch with. And without someone significant in my life, that eliminates anyone I can call. It used to be really sad eating alone but I've gotten used to it and I don't feel like so much of a loser anymore.

Actually I'm grateful to eat alone some days because a little of the time, I just want to shut up and be quiet and just enjoy a moment where I don't have to say anything but "thank you" to the wait staff. Seriously, it's bliss.

I try not to go too far from work and I try to switch it up from time to time.

One of my favorite places is Jason's Deli. It has sandwiches and salads and pasta. Generally light stuff I enjoy having so I'm not completely exhausted when I get to work. I initially started out having their chicken panini regularly bit then I started craving for their Frito pie (which I still adore). But today I tried their Chicken Pasta Primo. it was so yum. Now I had the oddest complaint. It was really unbalanced. There was penne yes, and very lovely cheese. But I wanted more sauce. And OMG there was so much chicken. I needed way more sauce! But I'm sure to get it again. It was simple and good.

Every now and then, I find myself having Mexican food (mostly on Fridays) and I'll typically go to Los Vaqueros, which I affectionately refer to as my Mexican restaurant. It's a really cheap restaurant and the spice of the food is satisfying (I really like spicy!) and you get your food quickly. That's definitely a bonus especially since my lunch hour never seems like enough. I think my favorite thing are the lunch special burritos. They are huge! 2 is usually more than enough and I can leave out paying around $5 if I don't go nuts.

My favorite non-fast food go-to option is Schlotzsky's Deli. I think it's probably because I have a crush on one of the workers, but I can't get enough Chicken Pesto Pizza along with the Sour Cream and Onion chips. There's many other flavors, but I love that one so much, I can't bear to try anything else. Plus there's free Wi-Fi. Always a bonus.

At all three places, I don't feel so bad dining solo. I can geek out and take pictures of my food and just be myself. The only downside is that I eat as if I'm at home. Oh well, that's not so bad.

Atlanta weekend

It's quickly approaching the middle of the week and I'm already missing my quick weekend getaway. I just wanted to do something to just perk myself up a little and it's only a 2 hour drive to go to Atlanta which is a much bigger and more exciting city than where I'm from.

The main reason I did want to go is so I could finally go to IKEA. ERMAHGERD!!! I was such a dork that night! It was a long drive from south Atlanta to north Atlanta and it was so beautiful when we got there. And such a lovely warm afternoon too. And I squealed all the way through the store.

I saw so many cute things... So many ideas! Of course, I was too in the moment to take many pictures.

I did of course eat in the cafeteria. I nearly tried the meatballs, but I chickened out and of course ordered the chicken along with garlic bread that was just intensely garlicy. Just... wow, garlic to the max! I think best of all, I loved the lingonberry drink. Unfortunately, I found out about it late and only got one cup of it and didn't think about purchasing some from the food market until I was back in south Atlanta.

My choices were cheap. I got a set of the Kalas bowls and cups. The bowls are the perfect size for snacks and the cups are now my favorite bedside cup for that little sip of water I may need in bed. I also got 49 cent stuffed moose. Pretty unique and too cheap to not get. And I also purchased a pack of the chocolate cookies. Only bought because of the heart cutout XD

And then we went to the checkout. OH MY WORD! No one ever told me that a trip to IKEA would be like what it was. Well, I had an idea, but I had no idea it would be so massive. It was a Saturday afternoon when we went and the crowds were there and very evident at the checkouts. I was thankful to see the exit finally even if it meant we'd be in line forever.

Overall, it was a very nice trip and I did have fun. Would I go again? Yes! I have freakin' lingonberry drink cravings!!!

We wandered next door to a pretty massive Target. Uwaaaaaa, I was so loving it! And they had Valentine's Day items out so I got to peek at some of the ridiculously adorable stuff they have there.

Because it was just Target, I didn't buy much. Just a strawberry growing kit (I've always wanted to try this one) and a very adorable keyring. I'll buy some of the other stuff I saw at a local Target.

Finally, we took the long and scenic route home driving down Peachtree Street (at least one of them). It was fun and a nice way to end the night in one of my favorite cities.

I kinda wanted to live in Atlanta back in the day... I imagined it like a big city but not massive like New York, but nowadays, I feel overwhelmed in a love-to-visit-wouldn't-wanna-live way. It's def a big place with lots going on... I wouldn't want to live there and be alone, but I'm sure I could find someone there to make my days enjoyable were I to live there.

And that's it! My fabulous weekend... Well, at least part of it. There was a lot of general hanging around, but there's not much interesting in all that!

Really obsessed with Juicy Couture

Everything has been going well so far this year, I couldn't be happier :)

I don't know how it started, but in the recent year or so, I've become obsessed with Juicy Couture. I'd always see the brand around here and there in magazines, but I never saw anyone with the brand locally. But something about the brand just really appeals to me.

Right now, I only have Juicy bags and accessories. This past year, I was finally able to afford to buy some. I started out first with a wallet, then I began to get a few bags.

This is my current bag. It's the Juicy tote I always dreamed of! For one thing, it's huge! I could live out of this bag for who knows how long. However, that means that my shoulder often hurts because I sometimes forget I have so much in it...

During the Black Friday season sale, I picked up this wild tote. I wanted to stick with regular tones like their black or heather grey (honestly my favorite color in anything) but with the sparklies, I couldn't do anything less than going all out with the bold pink. I'm a little nervous about it because I've heard horrible things about how Juicy's pink velour holds up in daily use...

There's a few more things on Juicy's website that I'm eyeing... I've just got to resist a little... And hope for a good sale maybe.

For now, that's it...

The new Starbucks $1 reusable cup

Le sigh~ The holidays are over and no longer is there a reason to look forward to days off of work T_T It was nice though. So many days (well, more like 2) of being lazy and free. I returned to work today with a heavy heart and a throat wrapped in soft yarn to ward off the cold. I knew it would be tough... So I decided to treat myself to something special to get my mind back in the pace of going to work.

That means a trip to Starbucks! The expensive place that often sips away my money when I feel like having something special. I left home early so that I would have time to stop in for a mocha and my beloved cheese danish, but I had plenty of time to goof off on my phone too.

When I got to the counter, I was offered a $1 reusable cup! Apparently, this is something new they're trying to do to get people to bring in their own cups. Well, I do have my cold cup that I sometimes bring in with me, but I use it mostly to bring my own cup of water to work. And I did want a reusable hot cup that looks like a real paper Starbucks cup to match, but they haven't had those in a while.

But this one really and truthfully looks like the real paper cup. It's made out of BPA-free plastic that's really really firm despite being not very thick. It's also top rack dishwasher-safe as well as microwave safe (as long as you remove the top) and very much so made in China (these days, what isn't?).

On the front is the Starbucks mermaid logo (I still miss the previous logo) and on the back is the section that the baristas mark up when they make your drink (they didn't mark up mine today). Also on the front (and the bottom), the cup reminds you to recycle!

The cup also comes with its own lid which is swoopy and curvy and I guess it's friendly to the mouth. I did slurp down my coffee in record time.

The cup itself is Grande size (16 fl oz/473 ml) and, like all other Starbucks cups, is marked for those who prefer tall. Don't think they have one for the larger sizes. Not that I care, I always get a tall. Also, the bottom inside is curved instead of flat. Interesting? Probably not, but I thought it would be worth noticing.

For just $1, it's not a bad deal. Plus, if you bring it in 10 times, with the 10 cent discount, the cup pays for itself. I just might buy a second one later on because I do fancy Starbucks and it makes me look cool [do I believe this? no] even if what I put in my cup is green tea I brewed at home.

One thing I did notice about the cup, it seemed like my coffee didn't stay hot for as long as it usually does. I don't know if it's because they lowered the temperature due to the cup being plastic (a concern of mine) or if it was just the cold from today or the cup doesn't hold in heat very well. I'll have to see later on with more use.

But for now, I'm happy with my fake-looking Starbucks cup and I'm looking forward to my next visit... Maybe a couple weeks from now XD

How to enjoy a new year!

It's finally 2013!

I think I'm getting old because I could barely stay up long enough to see the ball drop in New York. One thing I always love is hearing "Imagine" in the few minutes before the ball drops. It always makes me feel a little weepy...

But so much happened last year. Things that I didn't even realise were just awesome. Like the summer Olympics... I didn't realise how much I loved it until it was over. Plus, there were Spice Girls. Seriously, the highlight of the games.

I was able to do a bit of entertaining this year. This was the year of me being obsessed with pigs in a blanket. I made them for two separate events this year and I'll do them even more.

In addition to the entertaining, I did a quite a bit of experimenting with drinks this year. I perfected my signature margarita and even spiced it up with a pretty pomegranate margarita as well. I wish I had thought of it earlier... I ended up using the last of the fruit from the tree to make the grenadine... I'm starting early next year making pomegranate-based drinks now that I know how to do it.

So far this year, I haven't done much... Well, it's only the first of the year. Recently, I've gotten back into anime. I'm not as manic as I was before definitely. But thanks to the Roku and Crunchyroll, I'm really discovering a lot. I started 2013 by finishing Oreimo (otherwise known as My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute) and I was well-pleased. The new season is coming soon so hopefully I can find something good.

Well, that's it for this post. I'm hoping to have a little downtime to actually give this blog a cute design and get started in writing again finally :)